divorce
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What Would You Do?
 What would you do if it were me face down on the sidewalk instead of you? Ambaum Boulevard and SW 124th Street. What if I called you on a Saturday afternoon begging for you to come to me. An intersection, my only offering. Would you come for me? If my body couldn’t move because… Continue reading
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Intensive Care
She woke up in an unfamiliar place. She saw what resembled silhouettes. Blurry outlines hovered over her. There were six of them. She closed her eyes, then quickly opened them, anticipating what stood before her would appear different. She squinted and could only piece together parts of the whole. Whatever that whole was, she didn’t… Continue reading
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Rebirth
I am not afraid to walk alone. Although it has never been done, Not by these feet. I am breaking through my old skin. I need out. The feeling is so intense. I cannot wait any longer. I have one life. And it is half over. Life is too precious to be unhappy. It is… Continue reading
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A Hundred Little Tragedies
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Jung This is an update on my Ex, D. Fighting for his life. Today I became painfully aware that I have not truly grieved the loss of my precious identity and… Continue reading
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Tell Me I Can Stay
Who says I can’t. Who says I have to write “can not” instead of “can’t” to be a good writer. I do. I say. I say I can write it that way and I say I can live that way. I don’t say it as much as I think it. I can’t do this anymore.… Continue reading
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Does Everything Really Happen For A Reason?
Life is just a series of events, both unfortunate and remarkably notable. There are many paths from which to choose. If I decided 20 years ago not to take that job at Starbucks to help pay for my college expenses, some defining moments would not have revealed themselves which determined the circumstances of my life.… Continue reading
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Where’s The Wart Remover?
Family. What comes to mind? Comfort? Craziness? There are a million words and feelings associated with that word. It’s a complicated dynamic that encompasses a lot of baggage. It’s like one of those 1000 piece puzzles. I am consistently “almost there” in understanding my family, then Aunt Catastrophe bumps into me and a few pieces… Continue reading
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Hollow
While listening to a song in the car today, I realized how very worried I am about my son. I interpret the song to be about not wanting to let someone leave you. When I hear it, I think of someone taking their own life. I myself have had many suicide attempts. The first at… Continue reading
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Baggage Claim
Saturday morning, I woke up to the remains of a dreadful dream. It sounds crazy, but I remember feeling relieved that I wasn’t waking up from a using dream, which has been an almost nightly occurrence. I suppose being relieved that you have been shot by your ex-husband instead of having to fight over who… Continue reading
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He Erased My Very Existence.
My father left my mom when I was a year old. He was a career criminal on the run. He was invariably caught and spent a lengthy five years in Prison. Indeed easy time compared to what the hardened criminal was accustomed. He begged my mother to bring me to visit him in prison. She… Continue reading