memiors
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Shitty Spa Day
If I don’t die in my sleep, I will wake up tomorrow 8 days sober. I haven’t put together 8 consecutive days of sobriety in almost 10 years. My pain pill addiction is a beast of its own. I am fiercely in love with opiates. I know this because pills consume my every thought. I… Continue reading
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“Perfect”
Last night I had a dream. A little boy tugged at his parent’s clothes. “Look, that one, That’s the one I want… I want her.” The girl had scars all up and down the right side of her face from cutting herself. She was trying to hide them. The little boy didn’t care. He thought… Continue reading
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Trapped On The Inside
Does everyone have a soulmate? Is that why I feel so alone? This emptiness is heavy. How can a feeling of nothingness feel so full that my heart just might fall through me onto the floor? I cannot recall a time when I physically felt my heart hurt. Not like the interpretation of ‘heartache’ expressed… Continue reading
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My Morning After Pill
Sitting on the floor Staring out the window Wiping off the polish Lost in a trance Listening to GaGa Post Superbowl Acetone morning Child on her left Controllers and LeBron Has no clue mama’s gone Looking straight ahead She listens and nods One say he’ll remember Mama in her towel Singing Painting Dancing Her portable… Continue reading
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Getting High Getting Low
She loves getting high Always have always will Doesn’t mean she’ll keep crushin’ up or throwing back those wretched little pills But she probably will Love the feeling Hate the life Prey on weakness Overflowin’ with strife Let the girl be She’s coming into her own But now’s the time to take her She’s stripped… Continue reading
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90 days sober
I wish my insides matched my outsides. Then I could more than halfway feel pretty. Then when that creep gives the animal call, Then when that man gives the nod, Then I could muster up The look in my eyes that matches the pain in my heart to say“fuck you” Oh why can’t I, oh… Continue reading
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Just a Thought
Upon waking this morning I touched my face and realized it is one of the few things we cannot see on our bodies; unless of course we look at it through the reflection of a mirror. It is however, the first thing people look at when they see us. Just a thought. A bit disturbing. Continue reading
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Shitty Spa Day
If I don’t die in my sleep, I will wake up tomorrow 8 days sober. I haven’t put together 8 consecutive days of sobriety in almost 10 years. My pain pill addiction is a beast of its own. I am fiercely in love with opiates. I know this because pills consume my every thought. I… Continue reading